As you can imagine, I get asked a lot of questions - mostly from introspective people trying to put a “name” to some of the feelings that they are having or behaviors that they are engaging in. Some of these questions come up quite frequently and so I thought I might share them here along with my answers. If you have a question that you don’t see listed here, please consider scheduling a free 10-15 minute discovery session with me HERE.

What are some physical symptoms of anxiety?
Physical symptoms of anxiety can feel really obvious, like rapid heart rate, sweatyness, fidgeting, feeling tense and rigid. It can also show up in smaller ways you may not have even noticed before, such as clenching your jaw, chronic stomach pain, or feelings of irritability. Take some time to check in with your body and how you’re feeling when you notice worry arise to learn more about how physical sensations of anxiety may show up for you.

Is it bad to be a perfectionist?
As a psychologist, my bias is perfectionism hurts us a lot more than it helps us. Many people develop perfectionistic habits in order to people please, gain positive feedback, or avoid criticism. But these habits can make you feel like you’re trapped in a race that never ends. There are always more people to please, new projects to complete, or new criticisms to avoid. In my therapy practice, I help self-identified perfectionists to find balance between putting out good work that they’re proud of, while also maintaining boundaries that allow them to experience a sense of contentment.

How to know if I work too much?
This can look different for every person, but if you are finding that the days are flying by with work tasks so much so that you aren’t enjoying other aspects of your life, it may be time to reevaluate your relationship with work. I also think that asking this question in general is pretty telling that you’re already noticing something may be off, which is great! The first step to making a change is acknowledging there is something that needs changing. Here is an article with more red flags that your work-life balance may be out of tune: https://www.healthline.com/health/w…are-aching

Is it normal to struggle with breastfeeding?
It is absolutely normal to struggle with breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is so much more difficult than is often acknowledged or talked about. If you find that you are often struggling with feelings of guilt or shame in parenthood, it may be a good time to reach out for some support. Dr. Kendal Cassidy is a Tacoma-based licensed psychologist providing perinatal and postpartum therapy services throughout the state of Washington. You can find more information at www.ascendpsychpllc.com.

How to have a good relationship with your therapist?
The therapist-client relationship is a two way street. Just like other relationships in your life, both therapists and clients have to work toward making the relationship feel trusting, supportive, and helpful. First start off with finding a therapist that makes you feel comfortable and heard. During your time in therapy, try your best to attend your appointments on time and regularly, bring topics that are meaningful to you to explore during your session, and try to limit distractions (phones, other people, etc.) during the session so that you can get the most out of the time you have together. If your therapist has said or done something that you don’t appreciate, treat this as an opportunity to practice healthy boundaries and give specific and constructive feedback. In the end, your needs in therapy are of utmost importance, and you deserve high quality, supportive, and personalized care.

How to deal with work stress?
The demands of work and personal life can feel overwhelming, and frankly never-ending at times. While each person has their own set of specific circumstances, it can be helpful to begin with setting boundaries between your personal and professional lives. Do you find yourself taking phone calls or answering emails when you’re off the clock? While this can seem like it’s not a big deal, it can be hard to be fully relaxed or present in your free time when you have work tasks lingering in the back of your mind. If you find that your stress feels so intense that it is impacting your quality of life, it may be time to explore how therapy can help you to find more balance, and reduce stress.

Where do I start in self-care?
I always like to say, self-care is so much more than indulging in chocolate cake and bubble baths. It’s also the little habits we create to better our lives in the long run, even when these habits aren’t as exciting or fun. Self-care can look like calling a friend for support, meal prepping, staying on top of your laundry, doing chores on the weekend so you’re prepared for the week, going to weekly therapy, and so on. For a list of more self-care ideas, check out https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/…e-yourself

What if I don’t love my baby?
This is a common concern that new parents often feel guilty saying out loud. If you’ve had this fear, rest assured you are not alone. Intrusive thoughts are actually very common in both pregnancy and postpartum. On instagram, @drcassidy and @drsterlingobgyn have some great resources. If you think it might be time to reach out to a therapist, Dr. Kendal Cassidy is a Tacoma-based licensed psychologist providing perinatal and postpartum therapy services throughout the state of Washington. You can find more information at www.ascendpsychpllc.com

Is it normal to resent your parents in adulthood?
As you encounter more and more life experiences, you may be beginning to evaluate your childhood from the lens of an adult. This can bring up feelings of anger or resentment toward your primary caregivers, because you may start uncovering new ways that you weren’t given the love, attention, or care you deserved when you were a child. While these realizations may help you to better understand your relationship with yourself, your parent(s), or maybe even your own children, it can also be extremely painful. You don’t have to go through this process alone. If my therapy services seem like a good fit for you, request a free 15 minute consultation to learn more about how we could explore this issue further in therapy.

Why am I so stressed all the time?
Our stressors are greater than ever as a society. It can be hard to feel grounded between all of the demands, obligations, and tasks you are juggling. Whatever your specific life circumstances, here is a great article to dive deeper into reasons why you may be stressed, and what to do about it: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/…l-the-time

Is it normal to cry every day?
This is a complicated question. Some people are just more apt to crying than others, and that’s completely normal. I think the greater question is, is this a new change for you? If you didn’t used to be someone who cried every day, and now you do, it might be a good time to seek additional support from a therapist or psychologist. In therapy, you can explore what’s changed, how those changes feel, and ways to work toward a greater sense of peace and well-being.

Is perfectionism a sign of anxiety?
In short, yes, perfectionism can absolutely be a sign of anxiety. Many of us cope with feelings of anxiety through doing, creating, and producing. While this can seem really adaptive from the outside, it can also be difficult to determine what feels like a healthy level of production, and what is fueled by anxiety. In my practice, I often work with perfectionistic high achievers to create a better sense of balance and contentment, while still keeping the aspects of productivity that are working.